Creativity

I recently got the laptop thanks to Mom and Dad.  After setting it up for Communications and needs, requirements I found an application on Facebook called Dreamhouse Designer.

I went to school for Graphic Design, just an Introductory Course dipping my toe in as it were.  I took to it and people around me, students, teachers noticed I had a gift.  When I was in Kindergarten my gift was recognized.  A potential to be an artist.  When I left my parents again a few years ago a kind lady at the place I stayed fed me one night and said to me that I was an artist after I started painting and drawing to pass the time.  She said, "Let me feed you.  You have been taking care of everyone else and no one has been taking care of you."  Perhaps it is how she felt.  I have been cared for by many people and I have cared for many.

This program DD has allowed me to take a simple room with a view and fill it with my ideas, colours, furniture and accessories to create scenes and stories.  It is an outlet.  There are others that do the same, it says 17,000+ and I get feedback on my work.

Just watched the Pixar documentary/show and it talked about their humble beginnings with Toy Story.  I just completed one work/scene of a little girl playing in front of the pyramids with blocks representing stones around her.  Take the stones people throw at you and build with them.  I saw that on a funny page saying that is what a strong woman does.

My realization that I have children, a daughter, has been very emotional.  As I watched the Pixar show and saw so many old friends doing voice work, so many creative people filling their boxes or dioramas I felt and feel at home.  I struggle to keep this home and fear losing it.

I was given loss to work on from the moment I got my SIN card.  Mammy had just died, then Fluffy, then Scamp.  A girl at school had been hit and run over by a car, dragged.  Her name was Petra Rock.  Rest in Peace Petra.

My parents let me dream and provided me with music, photography, pictures, food, safe surroundings, toys, tools, ensured I did well at school, allowed creativity, let me see Lorne, dance, thrive.  Others have tried to physically harm my body, my brain but they did not succeed.  You don't have to stop learning or being able to think like a child.  You need that to be able to bond with your child.  The realization you can't fail.

Today

This weekend Bruce Willis and Katy Perry performed on Saturday Night Live.
Highlights are "Boys Dance Party" and Katy Perry's "Walking on Air" performance.

I feel like and did go through a wormhole, best term I can think of, as life has changed dramatically in the last while.

Highlights:
Lorne and Sophie, the levels we are at now
Realizing I am wanted and loved and I want and love
Laptop!  A computer, a tool, to help me on my journey

Just keep going, perform well, be well, live well, and eventually die well.
I need to work on clearing my skin, getting my body (through dance, yoga, nutrition, etc.) in the best shape.
Get through the remaining roadblocks of ill-health, sorrow, loss, confusion, and be the best Janet I can be.

Progress

This has been a rough year.  And there have been some rough ones.  Finally, I am making progress.

In February (2013) the house at Bluejay was sold, my tv stopped working, my heater stopped working, and I had been ill with flu.  It all worked out.  I still live here in the apartment, I still have my job at Sears, and I am in contact with family again.

I recently got the little heater I needed for this winter 2013/2014, got a little tv/dvd player for $15, and today....today...I finally got a laptop.  Years off-line, except for the Library and Career Centre, have been rough.  Now I can pay my rent by banking on-line, can look for jobs, keep current, find another place if I have to move suddenly, and have access to learning and information.

As a previous computer advanced literate person I felt a lot of apprehension and fear.  Thanks to a kind young man just starting at the store I felt comfortable being a geek with a Capitol G again.  Laugh.

My parents came through for me by giving me some money.  I knew I needed it.  Last year I held off and regretted it.  Not only for the reasons above...I feel like myself when I'm on a computer, typing.  Maybe it is because I'm left handed, prefer a keyboard.

I am so grateful to my family, friends, God, myself for this.  I have tools now.  This gives me options and opportunity.

A New Year 2013
I want to get a new job and will.
Next stage!!!!!