Life isn't so bad

Getting there....I have a home, support of friends. Have lots of resumes out there. Have someone to love and care about :)

Spring is just around the corner. Have some money on the way. Feeling better about myself, have gained a bit of weight. Have momentum. Keep going. And, relax! :)

Space and Ballet

I was given the opportunity to experience weightlessness. When I dance ballet I am free. I grew up with images of space exploration, my father in his short-sleeved white shirts and ties, my brothers collecting NASA stamps. The waltz of 2001-ASO is a ballet in the sky. I am surrounded with this, like a dance, dreams of being an astronaut, dancing, math and science. To fly. To see the Earth from heaven, the peace and the joy. One Earth. As in "Contact" as the camera moves further and further into space, into the past. I want to share this with Allan. I want to take you all there - into weightlessness, Zero G, the peace and the heaven, the quiet and calm of space. What gifts I have received. In return I sacrificed, as Ken Mattingly (Jim taught me that), and with the promise that with such sacrifice come later glories. I was given another gift of Puddy. And now, for the pain of loss, more gifts to help me through. I must have faith.

The time of growing up with my family, the family home is coming to a close. I am equally pushed away and pull away. I grieve in preparation for what no one can prepare for. Total recall of all events, fighting to prove my past, prove what I am, what I can be. Struggling to find a place in the present. I have a home now, friends. I need a living, a sustainable living to move forward, to deal with old issues, to live another 40-some years.

Decisions are made by all, on both sides of the plane and perhaps in others. This battle has been difficult for all involved. Thank you for my companions. To be able to meet with others, learn from each other, be assisted from the other side. What is this new era we are entering? Let Allan know I love him. I am here for you.