Ya

Holy cats,

I guess I have to laugh - what else can I do?
I'm alive. Laugh. Nuf said.
Actually, it snowed heavy today. I cleared the steps a couple of times. Not heavy.
Have resumes out. I'm opening up to people and I still have friends.
And, I have a communication device - not making that mistake again.

Love to whoever, Janet :)

I Hate Feeling Like Every Post is the Last

I rarely get any "me" time on a puter so I don't blog or Youtube much.

I've been very honest with myself lately and now here. I'm not doing to well. Have a broken tooth, with the accompaniment of pain which is depleting my strength and sending my health into a death spiral of sorts. I am saddened over some more losses - a love, a job I loved and now my life is threatened again to "pull it together or die". I don't have much left. By the time I got from one place to another back in August, I was on my last legs. Can't say I didn't get support or do my best, yet this is the result. I feel like a toy being crushed, squeezed and tortured to death in the jaws of hell. Think I'm kidding? Laugh, I've had my body literally torn apart, I've died at least once and was resussitated, came close several times and had to fight to survive to the point exhaustion. It's always "do or die". I'm actually just tired, can barely hold off defeat. I have given myself a few days to physically rest, but it hasn't helped much.
Never any love, just some hope now and again, brief glimpses.
I'm getting a sense that all anyone cares about is profit. I hope I get through don't know where to start even you work up some momentum, meet people, support them and receive some, only for it to become closed off, isolated and then wham! all is lost Hope just hope I laughed a bit last night and today. I haven't felt this bad in a long time

Barrie

Still in Barrie. Just finished my Reception position at Napoleon Appliances.
Still in love with Allen. I see the connection, but I just like him.
Feeling a little sad, but have to keep going. I hope he's ok.